Lost
by Gemma.A.S
Summary: The past is what you make of it ... Your in control, nobody else.


Hey, probably getting tired of me now :) Anyway, i've written a short story, on Greg's abuse, i don't feel like they did alot about it on the actual show, and also i've included sahira, as they make a perfect couple.

Love Gemma xx

Lost.

Abuse?

Everyone avoids talking about it, almost like the thought of it actually happening is too much for someone to bear, but how would they feel? if it was them who had to go through it? if it was them who had to live with it, day in, day out? People can aviod it all they want, but it happens, and it happened to Greg Douglas.

He was abused.

By a man that had been trusted with a group of young boys.

A man who had took advantage of responsibility he had over the children, the respect and trust their parents had put into him.

There's only one name you can call a man like that ..

Coward.

Ever since Greg had found out that he had died, it was almost like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, not only because the man who had wrecked his life was dead, but because he no longer had to wake in the morning and know, know that he was still living, and breathing, enjoying life with his family, he didn't deserve love. But Greg didn't have closure, he didnt have the answers he needed to get on with the rest of his life. He had so many questions he needed answers to. Why did he abuse him? What was going through his head?

Greg just had to except the fact that he couldn't get these answers, he had to go to work, pretend like he was fine, like he wasn't some abused scared kid still in his head. He'd never told anyone about the abuse, not even his mum. The only person that knew was Sahira, and that wasen't by choice, she had found out herself, that look of sympathy in her eyes, when she instructed him to 'talk' he didn't need sympathy, he needed someone to understand, to listen, and maybe, maybe he could move on.

So, he went into work that bitterly cold friday morning, looking forward to seeing the woman that knew his darkest secrets, all his flaws, and hadn't run a mile, she was the only reason why he hadn't gone on a drunken rampage and lost his job, she'd saved his skin numerous times. He was thankful she was the one that had witnessed what had happened with Andy, he was thankful that she had come and sat with him after work, whether he wanted to talk or not, her pressence was enough for him, knowing that she was there.

...

Sahira met with Greg at the enterance of the hospital, he looked tired, worn out, she knew it'd have something to do with what happened with Andy, but she wouldn't dare push him to talk, when he needed her, she would be right there waiting ...

**_"Hey"_**

She smiled at him, he simply gave her a weak smile back as they walked into the hospital for another day of drama.

It had been hours until they finally had a proper conversation, she had caught him in the office, head buried in paperwork, she could tell he wasn't actually concentrating, so she walked in, closed the door, and parked herself on the edge of the desk,

**_"Can i help you Sahira ... only your sat on my paperwork"_**

He looked up at her ...

**_"Well actually, since you ask, yes you can help me ... i was wondering where i could get a proper conversation from, seeing as you've been avoiding me all day"_**

She said in a soft tone,

**_"Wait .. you think i'd actually avoid you? C'mon Sahira, you know how i feel about you, i wouldn't avoid you"_**

He smiled awkwardly whilst looking down, he wasn't used to just casually expressing his feelings, he was more of the sarcastic and flirty type.

_**"I don't know greg, i don't know what's been going on in that head of your's recently, you've been ... i don't know .. let's say ... distant, after the thing on the roof with An ..."**_

**_"Sahira, please ... just not yet yeah .. just drop it ... when i want ... when im ready to talk about it .. i promise, ill come to you_"**

He whispered to her. She put her hand on his cheek and gently stroked it

_**"Make sure you do"**_

He placed his hand on top of hers and softly smiled at her

"_**Thankyou ... Thankyou for everything .. i don't know what i'd do without you"**_

She returned the smile, jumped off the desk and walked out of the office to finish the ward rounds.

Hours had passed and Greg was supposed to have joined Sahira in surgery, but ever turned up, leaving her to cope with Jac's sarcastic digs at her for the past 2 hours. Sahira walked onto darwin ward, all ready to tell Greg how inconsiderate he was for leaving her in the lurch like that, But he was no where to be found, she had looked everywhere, she made her way back into the office, see if he had left her a note or something. She saw an address for a graveyard, and an article printed out, saying "Under 14's football coach dies" Was he really that stupid? Had he gone to find the grave off his abuser?

She couldn't even imagine what was going through his mind, she had to find him, stop him before he did something stupid, something he'd regret. Sahira quickly made up an excuse as to why she had to leave, jumped in her car, and made her way to wards the graveyard that Greg had written down.  
>Less than half an hour later, she had arrived, She parked her car, and started walking through the graveyard.<p>

In the disance she saw greg, croutched down, infront of a grave, she slowly walked towards him and sat down next to him.

**_"Greg ..."_**

His eyes never moved off the headstone it read

_Rodger Boxley_  
><em>1950 - 2011<em>  
><em>Loving Father, Husband and brother<em>  
><em>God Bless<em>

**_"Does it ever make you wonder Sahira? How someone can just die? And be forgiven for everything they did, like death makes everybody pure ... H.. How can a man like .. like him, have a family? How could he even live with himself?"_**

Sahira placed her hand on his knee, and rubbed gently

**_"He was sick Greg, he was a sick man, nothing ... nothing excuses what he did to you, but he's gone, he's not gonna hurt you anymore"_**

**_"He used to stand in the changing rooms ... just stand there, watching us, i ... i thought he was keeping an eye on us, but th ..the whole time, he .. he was ... "_**

**_"Greg you don't have to do this_**"

**_"No .. no i do ... he'd wait until everyone had gone home, tell me he had to 'speak to me' pfttt speak my arse ... i was 14 .. i didn't know, i didn't understand, i couldn't stop him, i didn't know how sahira, i couldn't stop him"_**

He shook violently, as tears streamed down his face, Sahira grabbed his face in her hands, wiped his tears away, and said

**_" Greg, greg listen to me, it wasn't your fault, you was a child, you can't let him win, you can't, you've turned out to be an amazing man ... you can't let the past drag you down"_**

He looked down at the floor

**_"Greg look at me, promise me .. promise me, you won't do anything stupid .. im not going to loose you ... im not ..."_**

She whispered inbetween sobs, the thought of him hurting, him hurting this badly broke her heart.

**_"I promise"_**

She smiled at him, stood up and held her hand out for him, he grabbed her hand, She looked at him in his beautiful sky blue eys and whispered

**_"I love you"_**

and she kissed him, it was full of understanding, love and respect.

Understanding of how his past had made him into the person he was today, and how not everybody has had a life of roses, but can still, make something out of themselves, the past is what you make of it, for better or for worse.

Love for who he was, how caring he was, and how from the moment she saw him, knew they'd never part as 'just freinds'

And Respect, of how he had been to hell and back, and was still standing, still had the courage, to make his life better.

There it was. They walked hand in hand out of the cemetery, these were the first steps, to the rest of his life.

I hope you like it, i had another story, it's about sahira loosing her son .. im not sure whether i should put it up or not though ...

Please review :)


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